Wonder

I wonder what motivates people.

Is it the unknown feeling of accomplishment? Or may be the urge to know the unknown? What is unknown? Everything that we do not know, and it is so much. One lifetime is too less to know everything there is. People don’t even roam around the entire world and yet there have been quite a few who have roamed the moon. They have seen the earth in its entirety, in its little existence that seems so big to us who live on it. A pale blue dot it was called by Carl Sagan, and yet it is a place of wonder. People like him go about their lives, asking questions, proposing theories, making discoveries and bringing about an understanding of the world around us, so that everyone may contribute in their own capacity to make it better. But what about the worlds that are not around us, the worlds we will never discover, the worlds that are out of our reach and the ones that are inside us.

It also makes me wonder what demotivates people.

Is it the feeling that no matter how much they try, they will never be good enough. They will never be the ones who discover something new. They will never understand the true reason of their existence or the existence of the people around them. This feeling of uncertainty will drive them crazy to the extent that they will put all logic aside and choose to do stupid things.

While some people find motivation in failure, there are many who get demotivated once they reach their goal. It is not that they are not excited anymore, they are happier than ever to achieve their dream, but now that they have achieved it, they don’t know what to do with it. They never cared about ‘what next’. They had their eyes set on their prize and because they were one hundred percent devoted to reach their goal, they had no flexible muscle to train them for the path after success. Hence, the vicious circle of failure success failure follows.

2018 was a failure for me in terms of writing. It took me almost a year to get my fingers run through the keyboard again. I am glad 2019 put me back on my path in just 12 days. I think it is all about perspective. You go through so much in life so soon that you have no other option than to share your stories. I am ready for mockery and I am ready to lead as well. I am ready to fail and I am also ready for greatness.

I wonder what motivates me. Everyday is routine and yet everyday is so different. All my plans get tossed out of the window and yet I am excited about what will happen next. Is it because my plans are so sacred to me that I can always take satisfaction in the fact that all I handed over to people were mere photocopies and the originals are still intact somewhere in the compartments of my head? It could be true. I am glad that nothing disturbs me, nothing affects me. I have grown out of sadness about the stupidity of the decisions that I have made in life and have started to enjoy the moments when people look up to me to sort their complications. It is true that the most complicated ones can see your petty complications as a child’s play in their heads but they would never shy out of stating the obvious and making you feel ok with the fact that it is absolutely fine to fuck up and suck it up as well.

We are naturally expected to make mistakes so the world can walk all over us and make us feel small. I say go ahead and make all the mistakes as quickly as possible because once you are done with making mistakes, all you have to do is look back and admire the crowd that is following you blindly.

Let me know if it made you wonder.

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